Note: These are my life lessons to date. What works for me may not necessarily apply to you.
1. Polyamory isn't for me. Not that I get jealous so much as I can't handle the divided feelings of trying to balance more than one relationship.
2. I am, however, what I call poly-sexual. I like sex. Lots of it. And like many other submissive women, I have a fantasy about being the center of attention in a gang-bang orchestrated by my Master. There's two parts to this fantasy and one is that I like sex. Lots of it. Gee, that sounds familiar. :) The other, and more important, part of it is that I know I have a home to return to, a commitment, an anchor, a love, in my Master's arms. That no matter how he allows me to be used, I am His. So....despite the fact that I like sex, lots of sex, I don't fool around indiscriminately.
3. Make decisions proactively, instead of waiting for decisions to be made for me. It wouldn't have been unsubmissive of me to proactively decide long before the indecision killed it, that polyamory wasn't working for me, and that I truly did value one relationship far greater than the other.
4. Few people are emotionally equipped to handle the depth of feeling, honesty and trust that I display, and maintain healthy long term friendships with me. I need to respect their limits and practice some self-restraint.
5. Long distance romances are HELL.
a) And not at all necessary, if you're willing to open your eyes and your heart to the real people that surround you every day.
6. Appreciate fully what others can and do give to me. And thank them for it. To walk blindly around assuming friendship and love is a given is to actively depreciate their intrinsic value. Life itself is a gift of the God/dess, and all of humanity manifests Deity within. Treasure what is given...value and honour the gift.
7. There's a difference between taking responsibility for my decision and mistakes, and beating up my self-esteem about it. It is also possible to actively not take responsibility for that which is not mine to take. Sometimes, the other person contributed to the problem as well.